Common Questions from Surrogates
Whether you have been a surrogate before or this is the first time you are considering gestational surrogacy, Forward Fertility always welcomes questions. You will find some of the common questions surrogates have had in the past on this page. However, if there is a question on your mind you do not see answered here, please email Forward Fertility at info@forwardfertility.com. Or, call Christie Olsen, our nurse practitioner: 608-217-7511.
Asking questions about the process shows you care about the details. Forward Fertility cares about the details, too. See, we're already a team. You're gonna love working with us. (We try to bring a little fun and humor to this process!).
Surrogacy sounds interesting…..what next?
If after reading these common questions Gestational Surrogacy sounds like something you would like to explore further, click here to complete a short screening application. Or, review the Learn More or Process pages for Gestational Surrogates.
For Gestational Carriers - Surrogates - Gestational surrogates - Surromoms
Is it required that I have had a previous pregnancy & delivery before I become a gestational surrogate?
Yes. Being pregnant is unlike any other physical experience. You need to have gone through it once for yourself before you decide you are interested in being pregnant for someone else. It is also important that you have completed a pregnancy without any serious medical conditions. With gestational surrogacy, we are trying to find the most optimal situation and you successfully completing a health pregnancy and delivery is one way to get us closer to that goal.
As a Gestational Surrogate, am I genetically related to the baby?
No. Forward Fertility works with Gestational Surrogates. These are women who have healthy, strong, bodies that provide a safe and nourishing place for an embryo to grow into a fetus and be delivered as a baby. The egg and sperm used to make that embryo come from other people; either the Parents to Be or possible donated from an egg or sperm donor. A True Surrogate or Traditional Surrogate is a woman who provides the uterus and the egg. Due to more complicated legal and psychosocial issues, Forward Fertility does not screen women for true surrogacy.
How old do you have to be to be a surrogate? Or, am I too old to be a surrogate?
If you're wondering, am I too old and also thinking, I really want to do this.....we suggest you complete the screening application and see where it takes you! Click here to begin the short screening application.
You may have heard the term "Advanced Maternal Age" with women who are pregnant and older than 35. This has to do with women who are using their own eggs -- which, is not the case for gestational carriers.
What is the minimum age? You can apply to be a surrogate when you are 20, however you must be at least 21 to match with a recipient couple.
What is the maximum age? At the other end of the window, there is some variability. Forward Fertility tends to work with a number of specific IVF clinics. Some of those clinics require the surrogate to be LESS than 40 at the start of medications. Two of the clinics we work with want the gestational carrier to be LESS than 45 years old. From application to delivery can take 1.5-2 years, so keep that in mind, too.
If I am close to 40 or over 40, what else should I consider? When a gestational carrier applicant is over 40, it's preferably that you've also had a normal mammogram, no history of blood pressure issues, no concerns regarding gestational diabetes, and also a BMI of 30 or less. Some clinics will also want you to have had your most recent delivery within the last 3-5 years.
Are there benefits to being a gestational carrier who is older? Absolutely. You've been around the moon a few more times -- you're wiser, you've had more life experience, you're often more secure and less flustered by life. These attributes can make going through the emotionally rocky and unpredictable nature of surrogacy much easier on you, your family, and the Parents-to-be with whom you're matched.
Is there any flexibility if I am helping a family or friend by being their gestational carrier? For self-matches (when the Parents-to-be and the Gestational Carrier have found each other on their own and Forward Fertility is guiding them through the process), most IVF clinics are less strict on criteria. We've had one self-match where the gestational carrier was 45 years old when she applied and 47 when she delivered a healthy baby girl!
You miss all the shots you don't take! Give it a try and let's see where it goes. If we find you don't qualify or you decide it's not right for you, then we can cross that bridge at that time.
As a Gestational Surrogate, is there anything required of my partner?
Yes! While you are not required to have a partner to be a surrogate, if you have one, they will be required to provide you support and be involved. Of course, actually having the baby is the biggest role, but you need the support of your partner, too. If you don't have a partner, your social support network will need to be there for you along the way!
FIVE Ways your Partner Will Support you as a Surrogate.
Emotional & Logistical Partner Support
Emotional support and support at home. When you are 39 weeks pregnant or need to go to an appointment, you might be needing an extra hand with your own kiddos. Forward Fertility wants to make sure you have the supportive partner necessary for the most ideal experience.
Infectious Disease & Drug Testing
Your partner must agree to participate in medical screening (HIV, Hepatitis B and C, CMV, and any other sexually transmitted diseases or disorders). As we strive to create the most optimal environment for a pregnancy, we want to make sure no infections are present at the beginning. Avoiding any high risk behaviors is also important for your partner (no tattoos with unsterile needles, new sexual partners, etc.).
IVF clinics will also complete drug testing on the surrogate and partner. While marijuana is legal in many states, surrogates cannot test positive for marijuana. In some matches, when partners occasionally use marijuana and disclose this as part of the application process, some parents-to-be will be willing to proceed with the match.
Participate in the Mental Health Consultation
If you have a partner, they will need to participate in the psychological meeting that is part of your medical screening process (see Step Four: Preparing for Fertility Treatment on the Process Page for Surrogates).
Relinquish Rights of the Child
If you are legally married, then your legal partner is a party to the Gestational Surrogacy Legal Contract and will need to agree with the contract, sign it, and relinquish any parental rights to the baby.
Abstain from Intercourse
Some IVF clinics will request you abstain from intercourse around the time of the embryo transfer. For some couples, this is to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. A surrogate having an unplanned pregnancy after she is matched would be incredibly difficult for all parties.
For other couples, the clinic will advise you to abstain from intercourse to improve the odds of implantation. You will sign a legal agreement that you will follow the IVF clinic instructions regarding abstaining from sex.
Sometimes, during pregnancy, the gestational surrogate will be advised to not have sex. Common reasons for this are when there is bleeding in pregnancy or the placenta is located near the cervix. Intercourse could lead to preterm labor or the surrogate to have heavy bleeding.
As a Gestational Surrogate, why should I work with Forward Fertility?
Many agencies match you with a recipient couple and you rarely hear from them again – they are warm body finders interested in collecting their agency fee. Not at Forward Fertility. We are interested in you having a positive experience – whether it is at the clinic, with your escrow agent, or with an attorney – you, as a fellow human, are a top priority and Forward Fertility will always work to make your experience the best it can be.
Keep it Local. Madison, Wisconsin. Minnesota. Illinois. Iowa.
Sure, you can drive to Chicago or fly to Atlanta to work with an agency there, but why would you? Save the 6+ hours of driving, traffic jams, airports, and toll booths, and work with Forward Fertility where your initial screening visit occurs in the comfort of your own home. Have your fertility clinic appointments done locally, too.
Forward Fertility primarily works with fertility clinics in Wisconsin, Illinois, and Minnesota. We have a few clients with embryos at IVF clinics in New Jersey and Portland, OR.
If you’re considering being a gestational surrogate in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, or Illinois ~ keep it local and give us a call!
Parents to Be are READY to Match now.
Forward Fertility has parents waiting for you. They have frozen embryos created and are eager to meet you!
Forward Fertility: Expertise and knowledge from a women's health nurse practitioner.
Why are you taking a certain medication? Do you have to take shots as a surrogate? How does it work? What will happen at your next medical appointment? What is the psychological evaluation about? What do you need to know when talking to the attorney?
Christie Olsen’s years of experience coordinating egg donor, gestational surrogate, and other third party reproduction cycles gives her the expertise to a) know the answer or b) connect you with the answer by knowing the right people to ask. Google is great, but not when you are searching for an answer as a gestational surrogate. Chat rooms and blogs have a fantastic place in the world of surrogacy, but getting the right answer for your medical, legal, or really delicate emotional questions is what having Christie on your team is about.
Connecting with YOU
Our team, Christie Olsen and Amy Osgood, personally get to know each surrogate and each Parent to Be. We work hard to make the best, most rewarding matches possible. As part of the application process, Christie will meet you in your home, with your partner, if applicable, to discuss the details of the surrogacy process. As someone considering carrying a baby for a couple not known to you, you deserve the time and attention of Forward Fertility to guide you every step of the way; from those first questions to the very last detail. Christie will work with your schedule to meet you in the mornings, evenings, or weekends.
As you get to know Christie Olsen and Amy Osgood, you will see for yourself they are approachable, genuine, thoughtful, and work hard for your best interest. Check out the testimonials page to see what others have said about their experience working with Forward Fertility. Also, check out what people are saying on the Forward Fertility Google Reviews.
Competitive Compensation.
Forward Fertility compensation for gestational carriers falls into three categories:
- Base compensation: This is the compensation you are paid in equal monthly installments ONCE you have a confirmed heartbeat. This compensation is a set standard with Forward Fertility. Haggling over base compensation with the parents-to-be is not the way to start such an important relationship.
- Event-based compensation: You select the amount you would like to request for events such as: C-section, twins, invasive procedures, housecleaning for medical bed rest, maternity clothing, pregnancy termination, if needed, etc.
- Monthly stipend/retainer: This is a set monthly fee that begins the month AFTER you sign the legal agreement and continues through the month post delivery or the month after the match dissolves. Some months, all you will do for this compensation is take a daily prenatal vitamin. Other months, you might be dealing with insurance regarding a medical bill. If you just need to push the easy button one night, use this to order out dinner or go get a massage and pedicure! This monthly stipend is IN ADDITION to the base compensation once you are pregnant. Most gestational carriers will get their monthly stipend for 12-18 months, depending if you get pregnant the first, second, or third transfer. The monthly stipend is typically between $150-300/month.
As part of your profile that is shared with the parents-to-be, your compensation will be included. Therefore, the parents to know the budget they need in order to match with you. They have this information before you meet in person. Compensation is not negotiated after your profile is shared.
If you want to be a surrogate in Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, or Minnesota, learn about working with and selecting Forward Fertility as your expert guide!
As a surrogate with Forward Fertility, With Forward Fertility, you will be sure to benefit from the financial AND emotional compensation that surrogacy can offer. Surrogates with Forward Fertility receive competitive pay for the careful work you do helping a family form. Payment as a surrogate is financial and emotional. You can feel confident with Forward Fertility we work to match you with a family who is a good fit.
Wondering how much surrogates get paid? Read below to understand the compensation you receive.
Competitive compensation and top notch support is all part of working with Forward Fertility.
First Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$40,300 [$36,000 base +$1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Second Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$43,300 [$40,000 base + $1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Third Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$52,300 [$48,000 base + $1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Additional compensation includes:
C-section, maternity clothing, procedures, twin pregnancy (if single embryo splits) etc.
Surrogacy-related expenses such as travel, life insurance policy, medical bills, prescriptions, and lost wages are ALWAYS reimbursed to you per actual cost.
Ultimately, all details related to compensation are outlined in the Legal Contract you sign with the parents-to-be. All compensation and reimbursements are managed through an escrow agency separate from Forward Fertility. This protects you and the parents-to-be.
What do you have to do to be a surrogate?
Great question! Generally speaking, the following items are required:
- Want to help other people and enjoy working on a team.
- You have to have already delivered a full term baby and had at least one healthy pregnancy.
- Want to be pregnant again - knowing this time you are not genetically related to the baby.
- Complete the screening application and gather the documents necessary to create your profile (we help you do this!)
- Communicate with us by answering our emails and calls.
- Complete a consultation with a mental health professional.
- Exam with your ob/gyn provider for a physical exam to see if a subsequent pregnancy is a good idea.
- Share your vision of your experience with the parents-to-be.
- Christie Olsen, nurse practitioner and founder of Forward Fertility, will have a brief meeting with you at your home.
- Select the family you want to work with and meet them!
COMMON MEDICAL QUESTIONS
As a surrogate, do I have to take shots?
Each IVF clinic uses different protocols for their gestational surrogates. Some of the protocols used involve injection medications. Forward Fertility will come to your home to teach you how to do the injections and provide support for you during the process. Some cycles involve no injections at all. Others can involve 1 or more medications you need to take via injection.
The two most common injections are:
1) Leuprolide (low dose lupron): given with a needle similar to an insulin needle; very small and given in the fatty tissue near your belly. This medication keeps your own body from ovulating. Usually, the IVF clinic will provide education about how to give injections. Forward Fertility will also assist you with injection training and injections as needed.
2) Progesterone: This medication is used for all gestational surrogate cycles. It comes in a vaginal formulation as well as in Intramuscular shots. The shots are typically given in the buttocks — similar to the type of shot you get with a vaccine. The area can become tender and sore, but will return to normal after discontinuing the shots.
Can my partner and I still have sex if I am a gestational surrogate?
If you are sexually active, you can generally continue your intimate relationship without restrictions. A healthy sex life is beneficial to your relationship and can reduce stress. However, some IVF clinics may place restrictions on intercourse around the time of the embryo transfer or if you are pregnant and experiencing bleeding. The medical provider at the clinic would be the person to make the final recommendation about intercourse. If you are considering surrogacy, you should be using a reliable birth control method, as being pregnant already would definitely exclude you from being considered!
Does any part of the gestational surrogacy process hurt?
Each person has their own tolerance for pain.
Becoming pregnant as a surrogate does involve a number of vaginal ultrasounds and speculum exams. These exams are not pleasant and if they are painful, you should let the medical provider seeing you or Forward Fertility know. There are modifications that can be made to make the experience less uncomfortable.
The embryo transfer often requires the surrogate to have a full bladder. It may sound odd, but that is one of the most common things people complain about! The actual embryo transfer, at most would be a little bit crampy, for most clients.
Once your pregnant, your experience of pain is unpredictable. Remember, each pregnancy is different. Severe nausea, cramping, miscarriage, varicose veins, heartburn, etc. are all options, even if you did not experience them before. Before my sister had children, she was worried about pregnancy and delivery being painful. I always reminded her that there were usually treatments or medications that could help for the various discomforts — it was parenting that presented the real challenge and not always an obvious solution. But, that will be for the Parents to Be to discover once you help them attain their dream of parenthood.
Will I have twins, triplets, or even worse, end up on a reality show? Why have I read some clinics transfer more than 1 embryo?
Blastocyst (embryo on day 5 after retrieval)
According to the 2011 CDC data collected on IVF clinics in the U.S., about 1/3 of births from IVF resulted in twins, despite the national average of transferring 2 embryos per embryo transfer. This data indicates that most embryos transferred into the uterus do not create a pregnancy. Even when the goal of treatment is one single, healthy baby, more than 1 embryo may be necessary to transfer to attain that goal.Based on the patient’s history, the quality of the embryos, if they are fresh vs. frozen, and a number of other factors, the doctor, the embryology lab director, the Parents to Be, and you will decide how many embryos to transfer. This number is also spelled out in the Surrogacy Agreement Contract before you even start.
Many clinics are moving towards Elective Single Embryo Transfer to avoid twin pregnancies, as technology improves and we see better success rates.
Can I continue the medications I regularly take during the process?
Yes, most medications are safe during pregnancy. Forward Fertility will review each medication you take and discuss it in the context of becoming pregnant. The Fertility medical provider you will be seeing at the IVF clinic is the person who will make the final decision about which medications you can take, which ones may need to be switched, and if any meds need to be stopped. Your health and well being is a top priority, so no changes will be made without your agreement.
As a gestational surrogate, you would be expected to take prenatal vitamins and possibly some supplements, based on the vitamin you are taking. These costs would be reimbursed, per your Gestational Surrogacy Agreement.
COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT COMPENSATION & MEDICAL INSURANCE COVERAGE
What is the financial compensation for being a Gestational Surrogate?
When you work with Forward Fertility, you know your compensation as a Gestational Surrogate will always be competitive with the national average. If you live in Wisconsin, Iowa, Minnesota, or Illinois and want to be a surrogate, there is no financial incentive for you to go with some national agency based elsewhere. If you're looking for a local surrogacy agency, Forward Fertility is your place!
Forward Fertility has a minimum base compensation for gestational surrogates, plus additional compensation for certain events.
With Forward Fertility, you will be sure to enjoy the financial AND emotional compensation that surrogacy can offer. We frequently review compensation averages across the country to make sure you are receiving competitive compensation for the miracle work you do. Keep in mind, the emotional rewards of a good match and experience are priceless. Make sure the agency you select really finds a match that suits you and your family. You don't want to just be matched with the next family on a long list, unless they are truly a good fit. If you are wondering how much a surrogate is paid in Wisconsin, Minnesota, or Illinois, read below.
Forward Fertility compensation for gestational carriers falls into three categories:
- Base compensation: This is the compensation you are paid in equal monthly installments ONCE you have a confirmed heartbeat. This compensation is a set standard with Forward Fertility. Haggling over base compensation with the parents-to-be is not the way to start such an important relationship.
- Event-based compensation: You select the amount you would like to request for events such as: C-section, twins, invasive procedures, housecleaning for medical bed rest, maternity clothing, pregnancy termination, if needed, etc.
- Monthly stipend/retainer: This is a set monthly fee that begins the month AFTER you sign the legal agreement and continues through the month post delivery or the month after the match dissolves. Some months, all you will do for this compensation is take a daily prenatal vitamin. Other months, you might be dealing with insurance regarding a medical bill. If you just need to push the easy button one night, use this to order out dinner or go get a massage and pedicure! This monthly stipend is IN ADDITION to the base compensation once you are pregnant. Most gestational carriers will get their monthly stipend for 12-18 months, depending if you get pregnant the first, second, or third transfer. The monthly stipend is typically between $150-350/month.
As part of your profile that is shared with the parents-to-be, your compensation will be included. Therefore, the parents to know the budget they need in order to match with you. They have this information before you meet in person. Compensation is not negotiated after your profile is shared.
If you want to be a surrogate in Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, or Minnesota, learn about working with and selecting Forward Fertility as your expert guide!
As a surrogate with Forward Fertility, With Forward Fertility, you will be sure to benefit from the financial AND emotional compensation that surrogacy can offer. Surrogates with Forward Fertility receive competitive pay for the careful work you do helping a family form. Payment as a surrogate is financial and emotional. You can feel confident with Forward Fertility we work to match you with a family who is a good fit.
Wondering how much surrogates get paid? Read below to understand the compensation you receive.
Competitive compensation and top notch support is all part of working with Forward Fertility.
First Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$47,300 [$40,000 base +$1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Second Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$49,300 [$45,000 base + $1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Third Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$62,300 [$58,000 base + $1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Fourth Time Gestational Carrier Payment:
$69,300 [$65,000 base + $1500 cycle start + $2800 monthly stipend]. This is an example - you will be able to pick your cycle start fee and your monthly stipend!
Additional compensation includes:
C-section, maternity clothing, procedures, twin pregnancy (if single embryo splits) etc.
Surrogacy-related expenses such as travel, life insurance policy, medical bills, prescriptions, and lost wages are ALWAYS reimbursed to you per actual cost.
Ultimately, all details related to compensation are outlined in the Legal Contract you sign with the parents-to-be. All compensation and reimbursements are managed through an escrow agency separate from Forward Fertility. This protects you and the parents-to-be.
Questions? Email Christie Olsen at: christie@forwardfertility.com or call her at: 608-217-7511.
Whose insurance is the prenatal care and delivery billed under?
If the gestational surrogate has her own medical insurance, through her employer or her partner’s employer, then typically, the prenatal care and delivery are billed under that insurance. The Parents to Be reimburse the gestational surrogate for any co-pays, deductibles, or out of pocket medical expenses.
The Supreme Court of Wisconsin has ruled, with most (but not all) insurance plans, if the gestational surrogate’s health insurance covers pregnancy and delivery, the insurance company cannot exclude covering the pregnancy of a gestational surrogate, simply because she is a surrogate. The attorneys that draft and review the Gestational Surrogacy Agreement review the Gestational Surrogate’s health insurance policy to confirm coverage.
In the case where a gestational surrogate does not have health insurance, the Parents to Be could work with that Gestational Surrogate if they were willing to purchase insurance to cover the pregnancy and delivery.
Once the baby is born, their medical expenses are directed to the Parent to Be.
Part of the service that Forward Fertility provides is assisting with getting the right insurance information to the right people. Making sure the right information is available at the right time for the right people will reduce billing problems and keep the surrogacy process smooth. Forward Fertility is forward thinking and will help you and the Parents to Be keep insurance issues to a minimum.
How do I know the Parents to Be will be able to compensate me?
When you sign the Gestational Surrogacy Agreement, the Parents to Be will have a set time to place your agreed compensation, plus some cushion into an Independent Escrow Agency. This agency will also receive a copy of your Gestational Surrogacy Agreement. The Escrow Agency’s job is to hold the money and disperse it according to the contract. They send you checks, usually on a monthly basis, according to your legal contract. Forward Fertility works with well established Escrow agencies with solid reputations of great customer service and timely payments.
Your medical treatment will not start until the money has been received by the Escrow Agency. Forward Fertility is looking out for your best interest and would not allow treatment to start without confirming your compensation is available.
COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PARENTS TO BE
Will I meet the intended parents?
Yes. Just as the Parents to Be will decide if they want to work with you as the Gestational Surrogate, you get the same opportunity.
A gestational surrogacy arrangement is not something you would want to enter without thoughtful consideration. Forward Fertility works hard to connect with you, so your needs, desires, and visions are well understood. Likewise, Christie connects with the Parents to Be in the same way.
When a good match presents itself, the gestational surrogate and Parents to Be get to meet and decide for themselves if it is a fit. If the Parents to Be and Gestational Surrogate are not geographically close, a Video Conference Call will be arranged.
If you have a partner, s/he will be involved in meeting the Parents to Be as well.
What happens if one or both of the intended parents die before the baby is born?
This is highly unlikely, however, it is good to think of the ‘what if’ situations when you are about to make a very serious decision.
If one intended parent dies, the other will take sole custody of the baby and fulfill the contract as if both were still living.
If both intended parents die before the birth of the child, the surrogate mother will relinquish the child at birth to the person named in the wills of the intended parents to serve as guardian of the child.
Intended parents must provide Forward Fertility with the full address and other contact information for guardianship. Intended parents are also required to carry life insurance naming the unborn child or a trust for the exclusive benefit of the unborn child as the beneficiary. The death of the intended parents prior to the birth of the child will not result in you being obligated or permitted to raise the child.
Will the Parents to Be micromanage my life?
Probably not! Forward Fertility gets to know each participant in the process to help connect you with the right Parent to Be so you are not feeling micromanaged and the Parent to Be is confident the surrogate they are working with is creating the optimal environment for their baby.
Sure, some Parents to Be are invested in every last detail of the surrogacy process. That is ok ~ there is a surrogate for them. Some Parents to Be may not live in your area or may have incredibly busy lives. They have chosen to work with Forward Fertility because they know the quality of people in our program is top notch, so micromanaging is not necessary. If you are a gestational surrogate with Forward Fertility, then you have been selected for your honest, responsible, healthy, and genuine characteristics which will provide extra comfort on the part of the Parent to Be.
What kind of relationship will I have with the Parents to Be?
It depends. Like any relationship, what you want and get out of it and what you put into it are related.
It’s important to remember, for some people turning to a gestational surrogate for their dream to have a family, it can be a very painful step to take. For some women, it can mean acceptance that she is giving up the dream of being pregnant. In the beginning, she may have mixed feelings toward the surrogate; on one hand feeling grateful and appreciative and on the other hand, feeling jealous and sad. The gestational surrogate needs to be sensitive to these feelings. On the other hand, in the case of being a gestational surrogate for men becoming dads, those feelings of loss and sadness may not be as present.
Most recipients and carriers develop a rich, genuine, respectful, caring relationship over the 12-18 months of treatment and pregnancy and beyond. It is essential to be open, honest, kind, and genuinely interested in helping others. As a gestational surrogate, being sensitive to others and a good communicator are important skills. A sense of humor is a plus, too!